Homily for the Wedding of Cameron Davis & Megan Zionts

Wedding of Cameron Davis and Megan Zionts
28 April 2018
Grace Episcopal Church, Galveston

Today we celebrate the marriage of Cameron and Megan.  This is a first for me in that it marks the first time that I have had the honor to preside at the marriage of a former student of Trinity Episcopal School.  I remember Gena and Gary Davis from those days...but you know, I don’t see the scrawny 6th grader. I’m just going to take his mother’s word that this burly, disciplined man who marries Megan today is actually the Cameron that I remember from 2006!

I’ve got 3 brief pointers to mention about marriage.  I hope these pointers will be a solid guide for this couple’s future and I also hope they will resonated with the married folks who are here today to witness.

First, think with me about a definition of success in marriage.  Cameron and Megan, I hope you will be careful when defining what success might be for you.  No doubt you will work together to make all kinds of goals happen.  Years from now you may find yourself with a beautiful, low maintenance house, two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 low maintenance children who are good looking and above average.  Your Facebook page might show that the two of you just get more and more good looking and your news feed might show how well connected you are.  Everyone on social media, including Cambridge Analytica, would see that you are a couple to be envied! My advice is that you be careful not to go too shallow when thinking about what success in marriage looks like to you.  Try not to think about success in terms of what others think.  The important opinions are those of the two of you.  There is no one right answer but true success will more than likely be something that is non-tangible.  Take curiosity for example.  Another person is always a mystery.  A young couple engages in a journey on which they are learning about one another...What are the places he would like to visit?  What is her favorite memory from childhood?  The list of things to find out about is endless...and even after spending a lifetime together, there is still more to know.  In the end, all people are mysteries to one another.  So my advice is “Stay curious my friends!”  If even after growing old together as a couple, you are still curious about each other….well, that might be one way of describing a successful marriage.

Second, let me say a word about mistakes and disappointments.  Go ahead and accept that these are going to happen.  What matters is not so much that you make a mistake as it does how you recover from them.  Marriage is not about perfection.  Using Brené Brown’s definition, perfection is all about what others think.  Remember, the important opinions are those of the two of you.  Be humble enough to admit your errors to one another and be prepared to amend your ways.  I’m kind of embarrassed to tell you about the first argument between my wife, Layne, and me.  We had recently moved into married student housing at Sewanee.  I was thirsty and was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink when I knocked over an open can of Sprite.  The contents poured through multiple metal racks onto glass shelving, proceeding into a drawer of lettuce and other produce, before pooling under the lower drawers at the bottom.  What a gross, sticky mess.  I was angry. I knew whose fault it was….Layne’s of course.  She left an open can on the shelf where I was reaching...that was “booby trapping” in my book.  I do not remember the back and forth of the argument, but I saw in the end, that my anger was displaced.  I was really mad at myself.  I know now that whenever I start to blame someone else for some mishap, the most important thing is to hold my tongue until the cerebral cortex is back in charge.  I think that the best school we have for learning not to be selfish is the institution of marriage.  It takes work, but over time marriage can be transformational.  The key is to be humble in front of one another.  To be big enough to admit mistakes and to learn from one another.

Finally, let me say a word about joy.  In the theology of the Church, mutual joy is the primary purpose of marriage.  Don’t be a sourpuss couple.  Make plans to do things that are fun.  If you are blessed to have teenagers one day...do not be afraid to smooch in public sometimes just to embarrass them!  Have fun figuring out what makes your spouse laugh.  Beware of becoming much too serious about everything.  Sometimes, you just have to stop and perceive that what life has thrown at you is totally ridiculous.  In the end, you are responsible for your own happiness.  In a way, being joyful is a choice...and the way to choose this path is to be thankful.  Count your blessings.  Revisit why you fell in love in the first place, and be grateful for those qualities in one another.  There is a time for everything under heaven, and sometimes it is the time to grieve.  When this is the case, grieve together.  Help bear one another’s burdens.  Pray and worship together.  Share each day something for which you are thankful.  Sometimes, it is good just to be silly.  Never forget that God’s wish for you is mutual joy. AMEN.

5 Easter 2018

Grace Episcopal Church, Galveston
Gospel:  John 15:1-8

29 April 2018

I’m an amateur photographer and an image aficionado. The best photos for me are everyday images that also carry a timeless meaning.  For example, I was learning photography at Sewanee when I made an image of a boy climbing a tree. I underexposed the negative and overexposed the print to create a black and white silhouette...you could tell that it was a boy climbing a tree, but the silhouette effect helped underscore that the particulars were not what was important.  For me, the image was about growing up. It begged the question, “How is climbing a tree like the journey from child to adult?”

I suppose nowadays children are not encouraged to climb trees.  There are much safer climbing structures at schools and parks. My childhood experience scaling an old oak tree was during summer visits with my cousins who lived on a dairy farm.  My same-aged cousin and I were practically turned loose to entertain ourselves on long summer days...and the big oak tree beside the dairy “called” to us in good weather. We figured out how to climb to a spot among the branches, where we could sit and drink Nehi “belly wash.”  Getting to that point was tough, at one point the main branch lacked limbs but bent just enough that the climber could bear-hug the tree and shimmy up until a handhold was available. We learned the hard way that short-sleeved shirts and pants offered no protection from the rough bark.

Now that I’m “high mileage,” so to speak, the image speaks to me of the journey of life, as a whole, as much as to that small part we associate with “growing up.”  Life has periods that are easy and periods that are difficult. Sometimes, we suffer scrapes, other times we find places to stop for a time and reflect on where we’ve been.  Eventually, we find that we’ve gone as far as we can go. One picture can surely evoke more than a thousand words on such a timeless subject. One picture can evoke greater understanding.

Jesus did not take photographs but he certainly used images in his teaching.  He taught with parables which compared situations of everyday life to the Kingdom of Heaven.  He used what people already knew to help them gain insight on the new thing that God was doing in their midst.  I can imagine the written discourse in today’s Gospel reading going all the way back to Jesus and his disciples having discussions about how the new community, known by its love, was like the branches of a grapevine.

Last Sunday the ordinary image of a shepherd was transformed into Jesus, the good shepherd. This Sunday the ordinary image of a grapevine becomes Jesus, the true vine. In each case, a mental picture was used to evoke a greater understanding of Jesus.

The image of the grapevine would not have been lost on Jesus’ Jewish listeners.  In both the Psalms and the Prophets, Israel is represented as a vine planted by God. While Israel was disobedient to God, Jesus, by contrast, was faithful even to the point of laying down his life. Thus, the true vine is Jesus. The Church is made up of many branches...we are the branches. And without the vine the branches are dying twigs.  People like you and me become the Church, the community of faith, by abiding in Jesus and bearing fruit.

This grapevine image is ripe with meaning, but I’ll limit myself to just noting a few points...just three ideas on how this one image can evoke greater understanding.

1) Jesus notes the presence of the Father as the vine-grower.  The image of a working vineyard includes one who tends to the plants.  This image-metaphor evokes the understanding of God as one who walks with us and who is intricately involved in our lives.  Our God did not create us and leave for some distant place, abandoning us to our own devices. Our God abides in us; we call this companion-God the Holy Spirit.  

2) Branches that begin to bear some fruit will later produce more and more fruit under the vine-grower’s supervision.  The description of branches responding to the vine-grower’s pruning evokes an understanding of the Christian life as being one of transformation.  God is with us, and God is not done with us yet. With God abiding in us, we have power to grow toward the perfection for which we were created….although, not reaching it completely in this life and knowing there will be stumbles and setbacks for which we will have the vine-grower’s loving attention.  

3) Finally, a branch can only live if it abides in the vine.  Disconnected from the water and nutrients in the vine, a branch becomes unproductive, withers, and dies.  Just as our bodies need physical food to live, our bodies also need spiritual food for strength to obey God’s commandments.  Abiding in Jesus evokes an understanding of a worshipping community where we are fed with the study of scripture, with the fellowship of other pilgrims, and with the very life of Jesus made known to us in the breaking of the bread. AMEN.

 

  

4 Easter 2018

Grace Episcopal Church

Gospel:  John 10:11-18
22 April 2018

My oldest son, James, recently sent me a picture from his desk while he was babysitting his less-than-one-month old niece, Natalia.  In the image, you see his laptop on which he was working on software code and below the table his outstretched leg and foot balanced on his niece’s car seat.  He appeared to be gently rocking her while he was programming. He was multitasking, and the image conjured my own memories of doing two or more things at once when caring for my own children.  

I reminded James of one of our family stories that resulted from my own multitasking.  When our boys were youngsters before their little sister was born, we lived on the campus of an Episcopal boarding school in Mississippi.  Layne had taken James to a music lesson on the other side of campus.  I was the Dean of Students at the boarding school and taking graduate education classes one or two evenings per week at Mississippi College.  As it turns out on this particular day, I was at home in the basement working on a term paper for one of these classes.  I was also supposed to keep an eye on our not quite 3-year-old, Walker, who was playing quietly in his room.  Boy, was he “quiet” that afternoon.  When Layne and James returned home about an hour later, I was still at work downstairs. Layne found me and asked, “Where is Walker?”  He was nowhere to be found in the house!  We were both scared, and I was feeling very guilty too.

We looked in the yard, but he was not there.  Layne started working the phones while I went looking around campus.  As I passed along the sidewalk in front of one of the girls dorms, a group of students told me that they had found Walker ambling toward the academic building and alerted their counselor.  The dorm counselor had just spoken with Layne by phone.  We were so relieved!  It seems that Walker had wanted to go to the music lesson with James, so while I was immersed in educational philosophy, he struck out on his own to find his big brother.  I was grateful for the way the students who found him stayed with him until Layne and I were on the scene. Needless to say, I was “in the dog house,” metaphorically of course.  This would be a powerful lesson to any parent...I never forgot that lesson.

Here is the connection between my story and today’s Gospel.  We are at that point in the Season of Easter when we identify Jesus as the “Good Shepherd.”  I’m guessing that like me, most of you have never herded sheep.  But, I am also guessing that many of you do have experience with caring for children, either your own or those of others.  Good parents love their children and do their best.  Even those parents who are very competent in their care have good days and bad days; no parent is perfect….and sometimes we really goof.  The role is full of great joy and disappoint-ment.  Fortunately, our kiddos tend to be resilient and manage to survive our parenting.  Looking back now that all of our children are out of the nest, on their own, and employed, I do have the sense that we had help from beyond….sometimes from friends, neighbors, teachers, and even boarding school students….but as time goes by, more and more there is the sense that the shepherd’s crook of God is and always was behind the scenes.

The image of God as Shepherd is most clearly set forth in scripture in the 34th Chapter of Ezekiel, and Jesus was clearly aware of this tradition.  In Ezekiel, the leaders of Judah are compared with Shepherds who miserably fail at the job of caring for sheep.  They are so focused on themselves that they neglect feeding their sheep as well as attending to their safety.  Ezekiel proclaims God’s intention of taking over as shepherd.  God will seek the lost and bring back the strayed.  In the time to come, God will be in charge of the flock and will personally see to the safety of them all.  Jesus picks up this strand by identifying himself as “the Good Shepherd.” In so doing, Jesus identifies himself as one with God.

There are so many things to worry about with your children….I look back on it and think there had to have been someone upstairs looking out for my family.  Those who stand in the circle of Christian trust, know that sometimes it is only faith that allows us to function and forge ahead in the midst of our fears.

Faith does not mean that we will never have disappointments.  Faith is not like some kind of divine rabbit’s foot that keeps us lucky.  Reason shows us that tragedy befalls the faithful and unfaithful alike.  But faith allows us to live with the uncertainty.  Faith yields a sense that no matter what, somehow, with Jesus as our shepherd all things will work toward the good.  In the end we will all be with God, and we will see again those whom we love who crossed over before us.  I bet that the family of God will be much larger than we ever could have imagined...even Jesus’ other folds, very different from our own, will be part of the one flock...that great cloud of witnesses, past, present, and future.  AMEN.

3 Easter 2018

Grace Episcopal Church, Galveston, Texas
April 2018

Grace Episcopal Church
15 April 1018
Gospel: Luke 24:36-48

In today’s Gospel reading, as is fitting for the Easter Season, we have another of the Resurrection appearances, this time from the Gospel According to Luke.  As in last week’s reading from the Gospel According to John, Jesus points out the wounds on his body to his joyful but wary disciples so that they will know it is really him as opposed to a ghost or some collective figment of their imaginations.  Jesus’ wounds have grasped my attention, so that’s the direction my reflections will go.

Just looking at the two Resurrection appearances we’ve covered thus far in Easter, we can hazard to glean some characteristics of Jesus' Resurrection life.  For one thing, in the Gospel According to John we are made aware that the disciples are behind locked doors but these barriers do not impede Jesus from entering to be with them.  Resurrection life is not constrained by the same limitations that we experience on this side of life.  

For another thing, Jesus’ teaching strategy seems to have changed...rather than teaching indirectly with parables, actions, and sayings that cause us to ponder...now his words have a way of imparting understanding more directly.  In today’s reading, the disciples' minds are opened by Jesus to understand the scriptures. Suddenly, the disciples have a realization of the “big picture” of what Jesus is all about.  They now understand that Jesus is all about God taking the initiative to be reconciled with humanity...that it is now the job of all disciples to proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all people near and far.

Furthermore, Jesus goes out of his way to show that he is real by asking for some food and, then, eating a piece of broiled fish in front of them.  He is still fully God and fully human being only now in a new form of life and on the other side of death.  The disciples are dumbfounded and beginning to realize that with God all things are possible. 

Now, I come back to those wounds that Jesus so readily shows.  In a way, it’s kind of surprising.  I like to think of Resurrection life being the best kind of life that we can imagine.  Now, those of us with mileage know that our various aches and pains and ailments are down payments on our mortality.  One day our poor bodies will give out entirely and, God willing, we will cross to the other side placing our trust in God.  We are taught in scripture that Jesus’ Resurrection is a promise to us, a kind of first fruits in which we also will one day participate.  But, it is still surprising to me that Jesus bears his wounds on the other side of this life.  I like to think of the Resurrection body being a new life without aches and pains, without adult onset diabetes, without the stiffness of frozen shoulder, or any other affliction.  I like to think that God allows us to leave all of our hurts behind, so what gives with Jesus having wounds? ...I’m surprised that he bears those and wonder if they still hurt.

Let me tell a story to help prepare for my answer to this question by way of an analogy.  I'm remembering one of my students from his kindergarten year.  He was a challenge for his teacher because he had frequent meltdowns in class.  Something would happen about every other week that would cause an emotional hijacking and he would just start screaming.  All we could do was remove him from class and wait for him to reset.  Sometimes, his parent would have to come to pick him up because there was no reset.  One time I had to carry him out of class.  I’ll admit I was worried that it was not going to work and that we would not be able to keep him as a student...it was not fair to the other students and their learning.  Then there was a breakthrough.  He was sent to my office after an emotional outburst, but this time he reset rather quickly and he was able to talk with me about what happened. "What did you do that was wrong?" I asked.  This time he did not insist on blaming another student or pointing to his teacher.  He said simply and with some resignation, “I screamed.”  Wow, I got to be there the moment that his mind was opened.  It finally clicked that his own behavior was the issue.  This was some kind of turning point, for I do not recall another event after this that necessitated his having to leave class.  Now, you know why I’m so delighted to hear of his continuing success and happiness in school to this day.  You see, I’ve got a lot of investment in that boy.  I associate quite a few of these gray hairs with him and, you know, I wear these gray hairs quite thankfully because I’m so proud of him.  

Ok, here’s my conviction on the scars that Jesus bears...my take on the wounds that Jesus shows his disciples.  I believe that bearing these wounds is Jesus’ choice.  The wounds are the glory of God; they are the price that Jesus paid for us, for our redemption from the bondage of sin.  You see, Jesus has invested his life in us; he's all in.  I think he bears his wounds thankfully because of his love for us.  Perhaps, we can understand this better when we think of times we have given selflessly to others whom we love. 

It is by these wounds that Jesus is known and by which we are healed.  Perhaps we are freed from having to bear the scars of this life in heaven precisely because Jesus has chosen to do so on our behalf.  Regardless, one thing is sure: In the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, Love has won the victory once and for all.  AMEN.

2 Easter 2018

The Resurrection Window Above the Altar
in Grace Episcopal Church, Galveston

Grace Episcopal Church, Galveston
Gospel: John 20:19-31

To begin, let's look at the setting for today’s Gospel reading. The disciples were scared and huddled behind locked doors, and it is the 1st day of the week. The Jewish “day” began with sundown, so this would be our Saturday night. Thomas was not present the first time and did not believe what they were saying to him about Jesus having appeared.  But, it does not end there. Jesus appears one week later and this time Thomas was present and comes to believe as the others have.

The overarching theme for today is Faith. I want to say 3 things about Faith:

First, there are 2 ways of thinking about “believing.”  On the one hand, there is what I call faith with a little “f,” that is “belief” as a noun. This faith means something or a list of somethings or “beliefs” to which one subscribes. For Episcopalians the list would include things like the doctrine of the Trinity, the apostolic succession of bishops, and the place of reason alongside scripture and tradition as a basis of authority in the Church. This usage of faith is not very common in scripture, and it is not what is meant by belief in the Gospel According to John. On the other hand, and almost always in scripture, “believe” is a verb which means to trust. This is what I call Faith with a capital “F.” It is nothing less than betting your life on God, betting your life that God is with us, that death did not snuff out the life of Jesus. ...betting that Jesus can and will do what he has promised.

Second, faith is not the same as certainty. We could say that certainty is even the opposite of faith. If a person is certain, he or she does not need to trust, because he or she already “knows.” This is not Faith because Faith requires vulnerability and there is no vulnerability in certainty….there is no “leap of faith,” no mystery. Instead of certainty, Jesus invites us to be open to him, with hearts inspired by the reading of scripture, formed by participation in worship, and guided by pondering in our own minds and thoughtful discussions with our fellow Christians. Certainty distorts our religion...Brené Brown, well-known researcher, author, and fellow Episcopalian in the Diocese of Texas, writes “The Church should be a place of mystery where together we find the courage to believe what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of being uncertain.”  (See Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection, Guidepost #5 "Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith.") Many forms of extremism are about choosing certainty over Faith.  Certainty takes dogma and beats other people over the head with it...or worse...and you find this in religions all over the planet. Faith as trust means having an open heart, trusting that God is with us even if we remain reverently agnostic about how this could possibly be.  Trust in this way also means accepting the possibility that God has spoken to others who worship differently than us and who subscribe to different things than we do.

The final and 3rd thing to note about Faith is that it is itself a gift that comes to us from beyond us.  We do not create Faith ourselves but God gives it to those who ask. Faith is Grace. My experience of Faith has been that it stays with me even when, out of despondency, I walk away from it. That makes sense, because Faith has a life of its own...it is a mystery...as John says of the Spirit, it is like the wind. 

How does Jesus respond to us in those times when our hearts are less than open, when our trust seems to falter? John's Gospel shows that Jesus reponds with compassion! I'm contrasting Jesus' reaction with a scene from Star Wars, the original film that we later learned to call Episode IV, A New Hope...this movie that came to theatres in 1977, when this “high mileage priest” was in high school. The scene is on the infamous Death Star. There is a meeting of officers who are discussing the power of the Death Star...Admiral Motti makes the claim that their new weapon is now the ultimate power in the universe.  Darth Vader rebuts Motti with reference to the power of the Force, and Motti makes a snide comment about Vader’s sad devotion to that ancient religion.  Responding to this Vader lifts his hand to place that officer into some kind of force-powered invisible chokehold. As Motti is being strangled, Vader comments, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

With this scene in mind, now think back to Jesus’ interaction with the "doubting Thomas" of our Gospel reading. By way of contrast, Jesus did not find Thomas’ lack of faith disturbing….He responded with compassion. He was not personally offended but offered his hand and his side for inspection... He met Thomas on his level. But by this point Thomas did not need to inspect. His heart was opened and the Spirit of Faith entered. 

The author of John closes this section by stating the reason that of all these stories were written about the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. They were written so that we might have Faith….so that we might be empowered to bet our lives on God...written that we who live in a subsequent day and age might also come to have our hearts opened. And, with hearts opened, the Spirit of God enters us, giving us Faith with a capital “F,” the power to trust that no matter what happens, or what our imaginations might "cook up" in the middle of the night, we might have a sense of peace knowing that it’s all in God’s hands. Amen.