Gospel: Mark 4:26-34
17 June 2018
Thanks to current events, I need to preface my sermon with an unprecedented advertisement for our Bible 101 class. The Attorney General of the United States recently quoted from scripture to suggest that God supports the hard-line way the Department of Justice is prosecuting illegal immigrants including separating children from their parents. The way Jeff Sessions used a reference to the 13th Chapter of Romans is known as proof texting. This taking a portion of scripture out of context is a misuse of the Bible and may lead to conclusions that are not supported by a more disciplined study. I’m not focusing today’s sermon on this issue but will defer this to our Bible 101 class, where we will forgo what had been planned in order to take a look at Paul’s words in Romans, Chapter 13. Bible 101 meets in the Quin Hall Parlor about 20 minutes after the conclusion of worship. OK, on to the sermon….
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| My father, William A. Dearman, Jr., smiles at the 9 year old me in 1969. |
Now that I’m the parent of 3 adults, my role for them is typically that of a prayerful observer and occasional consultant. As time has advanced, I am more aware that my children have given me much more than I could ever hope to give them. It was hard to see this in the soup of everyday life with young children. With my own father, I have thought of times when he was angry and I felt shame in the wake of some way I had annoyed or disappointed him. As the years have gone by, though, my memories tend more to show me how much I was loved. There was no mistaking the expression of joy, the way my father’s face would light-up, when he would see me after a trip or a visit away from home. Being a parent has peaks and valleys. Having had my turn at the role of raising children, I now approach the memories of my own father with more compassion and understanding, and this, I think, has led to more positive memories for me to enjoy.
Once when I was preparing to lead a parenting class, our daughter, Charlotte, who was a student at A&M at the time, happened to be home on break. Being an experienced parent and freshly informed by a week-long conference with Brené Brown, I thought I was just about near-expert on how to be a “super-parent.” As it turns out, one of my children would help disabuse me of that over-estimation. Over dinner, Layne and I asked Charlotte something we had never asked any of our children before: “Thinking about us as your parents, how did we do in that role? Is there anything, you wish we had done differently?” Now, to be honest, I thought she would need to think about this some... you know, struggle with trying to think of something or even suggesting that she would need to get back to us on that one. Instead, her immediate response was: “Do you just want me to hit the high points, or do we have time for me to go into each point in detail.” Ouch!
One of the memories she shared was from when she was in 4th Grade. Let’s call it the “milk jug mishap.” Layne was out of town, and I had just returned from the store with a car full of groceries. Our 3 kids mobilized as “all hands on deck” when it was time to put away groceries. The cold things needed to be put away first, so Charlotte grabbed the milk jug. Turning toward the fridge, she overcompensated for the weight of the gallon container bumping it hard against the hard corner of the kitchen countertop. She lost her footing and the full gallon fell spilling the contents all over the kitchen floor and under the cabinets as well as splashing upwards onto the cabinet doors. I wasted no time directing Charlotte to clean up the mess. By my calculation, this was her problem to deal with. After all the intervening years, I think what she remembered most readily was the sense of being ashamed. Every time we revisited that story in humor, the memory was no fun for her. If I could go back and have a “do-over,” I would have stressed that we all have accidents, given her a hug, and helped alongside her with the clean-up. That’s the better way to parent. We should be careful to avoid shaming our children; guilt, which is not the same as shame, can be appropriate and helpful in our development, but not shame. Guilt says “I made a mistake;” shame says “I am a mistake.”
In our Gospel reading Jesus offers parables for the Kingdom of God which apply to parenting and every other endeavor of discipleship. Jesus reminds us that planted wheat takes time to grow. There are stages to go through long before the time to harvest. Likewise, Jesus compares God’s work to a mustard seed. The seed is just a beginning. It's so small as to seem insignificant. This is a powerful reminder for all of us that our hope is based not on the results that happen to manifest in this moment, but rather, our hope is based on God’s love. In this moment, the Love of God is like yeast hidden in the dough. It has the power to change the nature of the entire thing, but at first it’s hard to tell just by looking at it.
Charlotte asked me to tell you that she was 20 years old and in full “adolescent mode” when she gave her evaluation that day including the milk jug mishap. To her it is no longer such a big deal….literally, there is no use fretting over spilled...well, you know. Now, 5 years later, she has earned a degree in forensic science, completed the police academy, and serves as a patrol officer. She is a self-confident, faithful young woman of whom her parents could not be more proud. Layne and I were not perfect parents, but we managed to instil a sense of worth in our children despite not always responding to them in the best way. I learned that parenting does not stop when our children leave the nest. Conversations with our adult children can provide the opportunity for reflection and for the healing of long-buried wounds. Love allows parent and adult children to experience genuine friendship.
Christian discipleship is a journey. We have not arrived at the promised land, and we don’t know how long it will be. We make mistake after mistake; we spill milk; we show impatience and act in self-centered and fearful ways, sometimes even toward our own children. It does not always seem like Love is winning in this world. But even though often it does not seem like it, the Love of God is, nevertheless, inexorable. There is grace in parenting as there is grace in living as a whole. Love turns everything upside down; it takes our failures and turns them into opportunities for reconciliation, growth, and better understanding.
In life, we are faced with a cosmic choice...over and over we run into the same paradigm, the same dichotomy, the same duality...it is the choice between Love and fear. The Kingdom of God is about Love...it is about everything old having passed away and in place of the old, there being something like a new creation. The world tries to convince us that there is nothing new, that scarcity is and always has been knocking at our door; life is a zero-sum game in which other people must lose in order for us to win. The world tries to capitalize on our fear encouraging us to “circle our wagons” and project evil onto the innocent. Fear can even justify acts of cruelty out of a distorted view that the ends justify the means. As an educator I know... fear makes you stupid! But, the Kingdom of God seeks to capitalize on Love urging us to share from our abundance and always to balance justice with compassion. With Love there is no us and them; there is only one Earth and one family of God. I know it is a lot easier to hold this ideal than it is to figure out how to live by it. The Gospel tells us that Jesus explained everything in private to his disciples. I imagine him saying to them, “When it comes to the rule of Love, do not be overly anxious about trying and failing...the important thing is not to fail even to try.” AMEN
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